Will the Real Jeanne PLEASE Stand Up?


Our dog growls and barks and shows her anger when someone behaves badly or trespasses on our personal space. Our dog rolls on her back in the grass and smiles from rib to rib. Our dog sleeps and naps and just goes with the flow. Our dog lets her leg move uncontrollably to show her pleasure when we pet her in just the right spot. Our dog forgets and forgives when we ignore her or put her on a diet or don’t respond to her wants as expeditiously as she would like. Our dog says little, never complains, lives in the moment, apologies only when absolutely necessary then moves on, is always glad to see us, and holds no grudges (at least as far as I can tell).


I want to remain calm, despite what is happening to and around me.
I want to squeal with joy or bawl in frustration like the baby in the restaurant till people are holding their ears to make the sound bearable.

I want to be patient.
I want to act, act fast, and act NOW.

I want to accept everybody as they are.
I want to outlaw stupidity this very afternoon.

I want to connect with people.
I want to be left alone.

I want to be needed.
I want everybody to go figure it out for themselves.

I want to be nice and pleasant so people will want to be around me.
I want to snap peoples’ heads off and spit out the seeds.

I want to set and accomplish goals.
I want to play and saunter like there’s no tomorrow.

I want to offer guidance.
I want people to go find their own way and maybe (or maybe not) send me a postcard.

I want to think literally and logically and formulaically so you can see my brain shine, so I’ll be though of as smart, intelligent.
I want to leave the thinking to my bones. Maybe you’ll understand it, maybe you won’t, and I want to be totally okay with that.

I want to go to a party.
I want to go to a silent retreat. For one. (But I want you to bring me food periodically. Just leave it at the gate.)

I want to talk in parables.
I want to cut to the chase so there’s no mistaking what I am saying.

I want to be in control.
I want to let the breezes show me the way to go.

I want to be kind.
I want karma to kick some folks in the shins while I’m still alive to enjoy it.

I want to be able to sum myself up in a 6-word bio on one half of one side of a business card.
I want to cherish and indulge and honor my many and varied interests and talents and forget about labels to help you peg me in less than 60 seconds.

I want to trust that things will work out for the good of all involved.
I want to stay the hell away from groups in the first place.

I want to be confident and in charge.
I want to be blissfully vulnerable.

I want to trust people unequivocally.
I want to lock all the charlatans up and throw away the keys.

I want to overlook and accept.
I want to call out everything and everybody. Overlook? Blind acceptance? How do you think we got in this mess in the first place?

I want the Mona Lisa smile to be my lipstick.
I want to laugh and cry and sometimes be a non-committal blank slate.

I want to mince my words, saying very, very, very little so that each word counts.
I want to spill all my words – every last one of ’em.

I want to feel supported, so could I please get you to read this before I mash the send button?
I want to put it out there in its raw honesty and let the chips fall where they will.
In other words: I want your approval,
but I don’t want to want your approval.

I want to create for the sake of creativity, to do things just for the sake of planting goodness in the world – you know, like Johnny Appleseed and his seedlings.
I want to be paid for what I do, create, and am good at. (And I want you to think of that so I don’t have to ask.)

I want to be affable and easy to work with so people will want to do the things I’m paying them to do.
I want to take her head off because I’m not paying her to behave like a moron for christ’s sake.

I want to have a steady, predictable rhythm to my days.
I want to nap, write, stitch, and walk at will.

I want to make people laugh.
I want to make people cry.

I want to make people think.
I want people to stop thinking and start feeling.

I want people to look up to me.
I want people to look up to themselves.

I want people to follow me.
I want people to get off all bandwagons (including mind) and start thinking/feeling/creating/living for themselves.

I want to talk things out.
I want to settle this and move on.

I want to give people a chance.
I want to snap without planning or apology when I know I’m being lied to, tricked, mislead, manipulated, or any/all of the above.

I want to whet all my appetites.
I want to stop the overwhelm of taking in so much information and just go with what I’ve got.

I want to get answers from others who’ve already trod the path.
I want to rely on myself and my body as a cache of knowledge.

I have something to say.
I have nothing to say.

I want to know what it is I’m here to do.
I want to live in the Mystery Unfolding.

My name is Jeanne,
and this is me in any given 24-hour period.

Maybe I should just become a dog.



  1. Merry ME

    This is amazing. 
    “I want the Mona Lisa smile to be my lipstick.” Poetry. Pure poetry. 

    P.S. Laughing cause I took that same picture of my dog today. 

    • whollyjeanne

      Ha! Will you be posting a photo on facebook, perchance Sugar?

  2. Mrsmediocrity

     I love love love this. Are you me? Am I you?
    I have a big Mona Lisa smile on my lips right now.

    • whollyjeanne

      My Mona Lisa smile is revealing teeth now. Thank you, Sugar.

  3. d smithkaichjones

    oh man!!! this is great!  i LOVE it!! i love YOU!!!  all the yous you are.

    • whollyjeanne

      haha – thank you, sugar. when i was growing up, the biggest compliment my parents ever paid anybody was to say “they are the same way every time i see them.” well, that’s something i’ll never get close to hearing! seems like it would be easier to be at least only 5 or 6 of the me’s here in stead of the whole slew of them, but i guess that’s never gonna’ happen. sigh. or yay, depending.

  4. Chenea Evans

    Absolutely love this 🙂 we’re such a complex beast, a beautiful complex crazy array of thoughts

    PS how great are dogs?! Best life coaches ever

    • whollyjeanne

      The Jeanne I am, the Jeannes I was, and the Jeanne I hope to be are all grateful for your understanding and feel soothed by it. And what you say about dogs being the best life coaches ever – ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. we have a winner! a truer statement was never made. why we have to go all uppity about the opposable thumb thing is beyond me.

  5. Meredith

    Life seems like it would be so much grander if we were non-human animals. They all seem to have it right, don’t they? 😉 Lovely post, as always! You are a master of words.

    • whollyjeanne

      They do seem to have it right, Sugar. Speaking of a master of words, I need to scoot over to your place to see what magic you’ve whipped up . . .

  6. Carrie

    speechless with tears in my eyes. Thank you thank you thank.

    • whollyjeanne

      Thank you for dropping by and taking the time to read and comment, Sugar. This one made me feel a little exposed, like I was showing all my warts. Plus it pretty much confirms that I’m nowhere near Enlightened.

  7. angelakelsey

    This is a fabulous list. I’m so happy you can see some of the wonderful Jeannes you are. Awaiting part 2, because you’re even more. 

    • whollyjeanne

      Ha! Well, one things’ for sure: you’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly of me. And I love you in no small part, because you remain my friend in spite of that.

  8. Janet

    Wow, this is great – and so me too! Have you been reading the journal I don’t write? When I was younger I was “red” and absolute. As I experienced life I became “blue/red”. Now, I find myself “green” and wish I were red again. Thanks.

    • whollyjeanne

      Oh, Janet, you make me laugh. I think all the color changing I’ve done has contributed to the deep mourning I’ve been enveloped in recently. Bridget said I’d like you. Smart one, that Bridget.

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Hey, Sugar! I'm Jeanne Hewell-Chambers: writer ~ stitcher ~ storyteller ~ one-woman performer ~ creator & founder of The 70273 Project, and I'm mighty glad you're here. Make yourself at home, and if you have any questions, just holler.

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