Tag: scrying cloth

the images appear
and i birth
them in cloth.
though i seldom
know what
at the outset,
the cloth>
always
has something
to tell me.

i thought this one
indicated
a type of
dual existence,
an inside/outside
life.

i thought
the straight
light green lines
along each edge,
indicated
putting one foot
in front of the other,
appearing
to the world
as normal,
sane,
all right.

the colorful
scattered stitches
represented
inner
chaos.

i thought it
was a
self portrait,
if you want to
know the truth.

but today,
as i sorted
and sifted
and began
to ready
myself
and our home
for
thanksgiving upcoming,
today
when my brain
thought it was
okay to
doze off,
my eyes
fell upon
this photo
i took months ago
while on a
walk.

and i wonder.

no,
actually i don’t
wonder
at all.
once again
i am reminded
that there is
no one
single
way.

i declare my independence from self-deprecating humor that’s used only as a non-threatening tool designed to subjugate myself so that others might listen to what i have to say. i pledge my allegiance to using my true, authentic voice, trusting that even when using my native language of humor, i will clearly express what i’m experiencing.

i declare my independence from the stories i’ve conjured or constructed or otherwise bought into, using them to protect me or aggrandize me. i pledge allegiance to birthing and living fresh, new stories that truthfully portray who i am now and who i want to become.

i declare my independence from living as though if i can do it, it is of no value. i pledge my allegiance to knowing (and living, accordingly) that the tasks i tend to regularly, and the things i create, have value and sometimes – every now and then – that value is expressed in terms of money.

i declare my independence from the notion that doubt is always and categorically a bad thing. and i pledge allegiance to give doubt a voice, a chance to be heard, realizing that sometimes doubt has much to say that i need to hear.

i declare my independence from the need to always present as positive and perky. upbeat. i pledge my allegiance to honesty, to risk revealing the lows and less-thans, trusting that doesn’t enkindle an irrepressible need-to-fix response from others.

i declare my independence from planning something right out of existence before ever getting started. and i hereby pledge allegiance to trusting my lizard brain more often.