Sands Through the OURglass

Out1

Forty years ago, I publicly promised to spend the rest of my life with this one man named Andy – a man I’d known a scant six months at the time. I’m still married to him though we don’t look the same and neither does our marriage . . .

Then we vowed to stay with each other in sickness and in health with only some romanticized notion of what that meant based on movies we’d seen and books we’d read. Now after his stent a few years ago and my recent bout with staph infection, we have a clearer idea of what that means, the patience it requires, the commitment is demands.

Then we spent a lot of energy finding ways to be together. Now that we’re together 24/7, we find ways to build some space in our togetherness – even if it’s only agreeing to work on our separate projects for three hours then meet in the kitchen at noon for lunch.

Then we looked forward to the weekends for the romps and recess they offered. Now that the structure provided by careers and children is gone, we create our own weekends by doing something outside the normal routine, even if it’s simply dropping the dog off at the spa then taking ourselves on a walk through the local village green to look at the new art sculptures on display or taking a leisurely trip to the local museum.

Then we were high on the thrill of discovering everything we could about each other. Now we deliberately find ways to lay out the welcome mat for surprise in general, even if it’s something as simple attending an art lecture on the Spiritual Language of Paintings and practicing our new vocabulary and pondering our new perspectives over pizza afterwards.

Then we held hands everywhere we went.
We still do.

Then we laughed as often as possible.
We still do.

Then we made it a point to argue and disagree in ways that don’t require follow-up apologies.
We still do.

Then we knew we’d spend the rest of our life together.
We still do, though we now know that forever isn’t infinite, and that makes all the difference in the world.

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12 Comments

  1. angelakelsey

    Happy anniversary to one of my favorite couples. xo

    • whollyjeanne

      Awww, thank you. XO

      ~~~~~~~~~
      Jeanne Hewell-Chambers
      stone turner of long standing

      Website: WhollyJeanne.com
      Facebook: WhollyJeanneLaughs
      Twitter: @WhollyJeanne

  2. illuminary

    Wishing you a good day, filled with all that love and more.. Happy Anniversary sunshine.. may the years continue to bless you and keep you in loves embrace…

    • whollyjeanne

      it was a good day, moonbeam. a very good day.

  3. Liz Amaya-Fernandez

    thank you for sharing your love with us. you are blessed. we are blessed.

    • whollyjeanne

      blessed all around, yes. especially because you are in my life. one day i will tell you that to your face, sugar. xo

  4. brandeewineb

    What a lovely tribute to both of you! Congratulations! Isn’t it a treasure, to have found that one person? Next week, we will celebrate 21 years together, and I couldn’t imagine a life without my husband. Again, congratulations, and here is to making it through to the other side & the joys of being the same you in all new ways.

    • whollyjeanne

      “the same you in all new ways” – yes, that’s it. i like that. thank you. xo

  5. Alana

    Wow. 40 years. That’s an accomplishment and a half. Thank you for being a shining example of what real love looks like. May your years together continue to be warm, full of spacious love and without need for apologies.

    • whollyjeanne

      Thank you, Sugar. I love your phrase “spacious love” – that seems to fit our relationship to a t. I learned long time ago that there has to be space in togetherness. xoxo

  6. Julie Daley

    Happy Anniversary, Honey. This is beautiful.

Pull up a chair why don't you, and let's talk . . .

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