+ Her Barefoot Heart

Category: stitchings (Page 17 of 37)

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20 more cloths before we complete Nancy’s Set 1. I have begun to think about how to pull the cloths together, and as will come as no surprise to those who know me, I have about 30269 ideas. So I’ve booked a call with Lisa Call this weekend to brain dance and strategize. I’m leaning to one idea in particular, and I’ve already started gathering what I’ll need: lots and lots and lots of vintage ladies handkerchiefs. If you know where I can get any, I’m all ears.

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Oh, and we are here today, Nancy and I, tickled to be a part of this project with other people from around the world.

~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning

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I don’t mean what other people mean when they speak of a home because I don’t regard a home as a . . . well, as a place, a building . . . a house . . . of wood, bricks, stone. I think of a home as being a thing that two people have between them in which each can . . . well, nest. ~ Tennessee Williams

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Today’s drawing speaks to me of mother/daughter. And I didn’t realize it until right now, but it’s photographed in a basket titled “Mother and Daughter” by the artist who created it.

113crows

And speaking of mother/daughter . . . here’s a photo of cloth #113 taken by Envoy Merry at her daughter’s wedding. And the crows? Those beauties were made by Envoy Illuminary (#120).

~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning

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She writes of silence, Radka Donnell in Quilts as Women’s Art: A Quilt Poetics, of how in Bulgaris women kept a small stone in their mouth to keep them from talking back or screaming. The stone kept them quiet. Quiet kept them safe. They called it their wisdom stone.

Silence, a verb.

Silence, a noun.

An ebullient, enthusiastic talker as recent as two years ago, Nancy is now quiet. She speaks very little, and when she does say something, it’s barely more than whisper, causing you to focus, tune out, lean in. Do these drawings surface from the recent pharmaceutically-induced silence or do they emerge from a life of physiologically-induced silence?

She draws in silence.

I stitch in silence.

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~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning

119, Envoy: Lisa Call

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Today’s Envoy is Lisa Call, a woman I’ve known for a long while but just met at the World Domination Summit in Portland last July. I’ll tell you about that later. First, let’s hear what Lisa has to say:

Nancy’s drawings and your stitching the drawings inspired me to return to needle and thread when sketching for my postcards from New York series and so I’ve placed her among my sketches and imagine her dancing in the streets of New York.

Nancy Dances in New York

In the second I’ve placed her drawing in the middle of my latest piece – Portals #5 – which is all about opportunity and possibilities and it breaks my heart to think of how Nancy’s opportunities were limited. Which is why I am so moved by your project – you are giving Nancy a chance to make her mark in this world without constraint.

Nancy Meets Opportunity

Thank you for giving her a voice!

[ ::: ]

So there I am, waiting for the session on How To Deal With Feeling Overwhelmed to begin, sitting at the end of the row in the chair nearest the door, stitching one of Nancy’s drawings. The chair next to me remains empty, maybe because I am not making eye contact, what with my head down stitching and all, or maybe it is the sight of a woman working with cloth. Some people see that as something only an ancient grandmother would do, you know. Just as we are about to begin, in walks this woman who heads straight for that empty chair beside me. “Mind if I sit here?” she asks as she’s already settling herself into the chair.

The session starts, and before you know it, we’re doing the dreaded audience involvement activity that requires pairing up with somebody near you to talk about it afterwards. There is only one person near me, and as I turned to face her, I silently vow that she will do all the talking. “So, tell me,” I say to her, “what have you to say about this?” She says something that that’s both clear and succinct, leaving space on the clock needing to be filled. “What about you?” she asks me. “What overwhelms you?” It’s a wonder I don’t have a heart attack right then and there, hearing the words that fell out of my mouth, talking about something I do not talk about. Ever. And you know what she says in response? “Me, too.” SHE HAS THE SAME OVERWHELM CARRIERS. (Or Gremlins, depending on how and when you look at it.)

We chat a bit – a very little bit cause in the time it takes to snap your fingers, the presenter starts talking again. How rude.

The session ends, and we sit there, the two of us, talking more about our respective chronic overwhelmed states of being and the similarities (especially the causes). She asks what I am working on. I tell her, of course, and she says she works in textiles, too, as we both fumbled inside our bags for a business card. “Mine is big,” she says as she pulls out a postcard-size business card to give me – a card bearing the beautiful artwork of Lisa Call. For the second time in the space of an hour, I fell a heart attack is called for. Lisa Call is a woman I’ve followed online (some might say stalked) for EONS, never leaving a message because she’s big and I’m not – that whole what-on-earth-would-we-have-in-common inferiority thing to which I now say “Pfffft” while swatting the air with my hand.

Not only do I love Lisa’s work, I love her approach to it. Lisa treats her textile art as a business. She makes plans, sets goals, does spreadsheets and marketing, AND she sketches, conjures, notices, stitches, and spends time on introspection and reflection. She produces, or as Steve Jobs said, she ships. She is very deliberate and disciplined (knowing that discipline means remembering what you want) in the context of her creativity, and that’s why she is able to be a mother, a friend, have a full-time job, AND create prolifically.

Her medium is textiles, but her methods transfer quite nicely, so go have a look at the workshops she offers. Sign up for her newsletter. Peek inside her studio. Read more about the Portals #5 piece, about her New York postcard series and the kindling behind it. And for heaven’s sake, take your time looking at (and perhaps do a bit of shopping, too) her artwork. Textile paintings, she calls them, and I think you can see why.

~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning

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Today was a day of writing in the morning and hatching and sketching ideas in the afternoon. Sometimes I need a day like that. Tomorrow promises more of the same, though with a bit more creative productivity.

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~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning

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Nancy loves puzzles, at least she did. She seldom puts them tougher now – I’m not sure why – but once upon an era, she was a real puzzle whiz. She would pick up as many pieces as her left hand could hold while she used her right hand to put the pieces together, thumping them at least twice when she was sure of the fit. She didn’t build the outside first, she didn’t even turn all the pieces over when she first dumped them out of the box, I want you to know. She just started.

She just started.

I think about that as I ponder and wrestle with ideas of how I will pull this together, this first set of stitched drawings.

Puzzles3

~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning.

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While I stitch, I ponder self-reliance, and as I re-read Ralph Waldo Emerson’s Essay II: Self-Reliance, these words capture me:

What pretty oracles nature yields us on this text, in the face and behaviour of children, babes, and even brutes! That divided and rebel mind, that distrust of a sentiment because our arithmetic has computed the strength and means opposed to our purpose, these have not. Their mind being whole, their eye is as yet unconquered, and when we look in their faces, we are disconcerted. Infancy conforms to nobody: all conform to it, so that one babe commonly makes four or five out of the adults who prattle and play to it. So God has armed youth and puberty and manhood no less with its own piquancy and charm, and made it enviable and gracious and its claims not to be put by, if it will stand by itself. Do not think the youth has no force, because he cannot speak to you and me. Hark! in the next room his voice is sufficiently clear and emphatic. It seems he knows how to speak to his contemporaries. Bashful or bold, then, he will know how to make us seniors very unnecessary.

” . . . mind being whole, their eye is as yet unconquered, and when we look in their faces, we are disconcerted.” Those words especially demand my attention and make me think of Nancy.

I think of so many people who have the faculties and ability to be self-reliant but steadfastly refuse, insisting instead on living their life as a victim, as perpetually put-upon, as one who is entitled. They prefer dependency, finding self-reliance too hard, too heavy, unfair. Then I think of Nancy who is self-reliant only in the realm of physiologically involuntary reflexes, and I ponder and wonder some more.

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~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning.

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“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time. This expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it.

It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open…”
– Martha Graham

That’s one of my favorite quotes on creativity and expression, and I love that it’s as true for Nancy as it is for you and me.

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~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning.

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Today I begin NaNoWriMo for the third consecutive year. The idea is that by writing 1667 words every day in November, you’ll reach the end of the month with 50k words, the average size of a novel. So (almost) every day this month, I’ll be penning a minimum of 2k words because I’m an overachiever and a realist who knows Thanksgiving is a time I’m hard-pressed to string three words together let alone 2,000. But it will not slow me down on this project or the Sketchbook 2013 project. Nancy’s done her part, now it’s up to me to do mine, and I will. I surely will.

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~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning.

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Today,
when my daughter’s ankle needed a second opinion,
and her doctor, our friend and cousin,
a dear and caring soul
who gives the best hugs ever
was unavailable
while focusing on his own healing,
I met a woman,
a doctor,
I would send Nancy to
without hesitation.
A woman,
a doctor,
who, like Frank,
knows that healing
involves caring
and eye contact
and laughter
and hugs.
A woman,
a doctor,
who, when she saw me stitching,
asked what I was doing
and stopped to listen,
really listen, I’m telling you,
and when I said I’m doing this
to give Nancy
and others like Nancy –
people from whom we tend to turn away –
voice and visibility,
grabbed her heart
and asked to see more,
vowing to find me on Facebook, even.

This woman,
this doctor,
is called Judith Chauvin.
She now knows my daughter,
and me,
and maybe one day,
if the need ever presents itself,
she’ll know Nancy, too.

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~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning.

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