+ Her Barefoot Heart

Category: Blog (Page 20 of 101)

News of The 70273 Project with a side of Jeanne’s Barefoot Heart

46: What a Woman Wants Sometimes Has Little To Do With Logic. Or Age. Or What Anybody Else Wants Them to Want.

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The second year I was a Chambers, Nancy (who was then 15 years old) wanted a doll for Christmas.

“No,” declared her dad. “You’re too old for a doll.”

Her mother turned to me with tears in her eyes.

“I’ll handle this,” I assured my mother-in-law, and that fine Christmas morning found not one but two dolls under the tree for Nancy – one a big girl doll, the other a baby doll. Nancy’s joy was obvious, and my mother-in-law’s gratitude was palpable.

What about Mr. C you ask? Well, I like to think Mr. Chambers and I learned something about each other that year.

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Several years later, Nancy was a resident at Stewart Home School in Frankfort, KY. The Engineer and I attended Parents’ Weekend, spending the days on campus and taking Nancy with us to spend nights in the hotel room. We talked non-stop, Nancy and I did. Talked and talked and talked.

Now back then, Nancy would get fixated on one subject and kinda’ wear it out. That particular weekend, she was keen on talking about what good care she took of Baker and Terry Lynn – how she helped them in the shower, how she brushed their teeth, how she put them in the bed.

When we checked her in with her dorm mother at the end of that weekend, I asked Ms. Catherine if I could meet Baker and Terry Lynn. Giving me a puzzled look, she asked “Why do you want to meet them?”

“Because Nancy and I have spent three days talking about them. I know how important they are to Nancy, and I’d just like to meet them.”

“Follow me,” she said, and we headed off down the hallway, stopping at the foot of Nancy’s bed. “This right here is Baker,” Ms. Catherine said, patting a big stuffed polar bear on the head, “and Terry Lynn has been dead for about 12 years.”

I had spent the entire long weekend talking relatively intelligently – at least continuously – about a stuffed animal and a dead person.

That’s when I knew for sure I was a writer.

NancyJeanneBaby2014

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To this day, Nancy loves her “babies”. When she started spending her days at the ARC a couple of years ago, I got a call from her teacher informing me that Nancy was regularly taking a classmate’s baby doll without permission, which, of course, upset the classmate. “We issue Amber Alerts when we see Nancy headed that way or catch her with the baby doll in her hands, but we just can’t continue like this and wondered if you could shed some light on this,” Mona kinda pleaded.

I told Mona about Nancy’s affinity for babies, how she likes to “take good care of them”, then promised to get a baby doll for Nancy that could live at the ARC. Every morning when Nancy arrives, Mona gets Nancy’s baby down from the top of the metal storage cabinet, and Nancy grabs the baby by the throat and slams places her on the table at her place. At the end of the day, Mona returns Nancy’s baby to the top of the cabinet, tucking her in for the night, and Nancy returns home to check on the 72 or so babies that wait for her on her bed. And in her chair. And on her dresser. And in her closet.

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IOOL4 14

In Our Own Language 4:14

Nancy (my developmentally disabled sister-in-law) draws.
I (the woman who flat-out loves her) stitch.

~~~~~~~

Dailydahlia150915

The Daily Dahlia

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45: The Time I Almost Didn’t Get The Job I Was Born To Do

5thGrade

Now I may have closed out fifth grade on a high note, what with taking over science class and all, but it had a rocky start, that year did, because I landed in the homeroom of a foreigner called Mrs. Wooten. I think we can all agree that because she came over from Clayton County (20 minutes to the east of us), she had no way of knowing that I was the perennial Teacher’s Pet.

I had never had to earn the title of Teacher’s Pet – my reputation simply preceded me each year. But Mrs. Wooten was a hard nut to crack. I pulled out all the stops: wore my most adorable dresses; took my time to make sure my writing was legible; brought extra goodies in my lunchbox and made sure I was seen sharing with those around me; left love notes on her desk, chair, chalk rack; kicked every day off with compliments about her hair, her dress, her shoes – something; made sure her chalkboard and erasers were always clean; made sure my desk was always neat and my eyes were always on her – I left no stone unturned, and was still treated like Everybody Else.

Except for Junior M. Nobody was treated like Junior M. Only Junior M. was treated like Junior M. I’m guessing his shoes had something to do with it because Mrs. Wooten told us on the very first day that you could tell all you needed to know about a person by the condition of their shoes. Mrs. Wooten didn’t take well to scuffed shoes, and she could not abide nicknames. She didn’t care if “Junior” was a family nickname of long standing, she simply would not stand for nicknames being used in her classroom. Period. Turns out Junior’s real name was Oliver, and with that revelation, every fifth grader in that room positioned themselves firmly behind Junior.

I did everything but get letters of reference from previous teachers to convince Mrs. Wooten to anoint appoint me her Teacher’s Pet, and when all else failed, I brought in the Big Guns: my mother.

Though I didn’t exactly give Mother all the details . . . well, actually, I kind of told her that Mrs. Wooten didn’t like me and I had no idea why because I thought that presented a more urgent situation. Sure enough, my mother told them at the office that she’d be in late the next morning, and when she drove me to school, she parked that airplane carrier-sized Oldsmobile, and walked in with me. Right down to Mrs. Wooten’s room we went, and i couldn’t decide whether I felt smug or scared.

I needn’t have worried because my mother knew exactly how to get me the job of Teacher’s Pet my teacher to like me: she went bearing gifts. Not only did she wear my favorite pink and white sleeveless shirtwaist dress with the 2-toned high heels and sharp toes, my Mother delivered a gift wrapped present to Mrs. Wooten: a copy of a book called Take Time! by Charles Allen, a book Mrs. Wooen apparently loved because before Mother had time to get to her car, I was in like Flynn.

Every Friday afternoon we’d push the desks against the four walls, pull out the record player, and square dance the afternoon away because as Mrs. Wooten said repeatedly, “We [the teachers] get paid to be here, but they [the students] don’t.” I think I can safely speak for my classmates when I say that we didn’t really require a reason, but the justification sure seemed to make her feel better.

In mid-October at our Teacher/Teacher’s Pet weekly planning meeting, Mrs. Wooten brought up the Christmas party. A woman who believed in planning ahead, she suggested we have a Christmas Around the World Party with every student choosing a country to research and represent. With that, she reached into a bag and pulled out her Authentic Moo-Moo and handed it to me, saying I could wear it when I represented Hawaii.

The morning of the party – Friday, 12/20 – the phone woke us up. It was my Aunt Rene calling to tell us that she couldn’t wake my Granddaddy Hewell up. He had died in his sleep, my Granddaddy Hewell had, and because they couldn’t be sure whether he died before or after midnight, the family opted to make his official death date 12/19, the same date his 18 year old son died years earlier when a tractor flipped over on him.

I was devastated at the loss of my granddaddy and I wasn’t too happy to be missing the Christmas Around the World Party. Mother checked with her friends, and they agreed that I should go to the party since it was after lunch, so I went, but I didn’t feel much like wearing Mrs. Wooten’s size XXXXL moo-moo. She said she understood, and other than that, the only thing I can remember about the party is how touched I was with so many of my fifth grade classmates – Gordon K. was the first – telling me how sorry they were to hear about my granddaddy.

Fifth grade was also the year I started writing songs, but that’ll keep till tomorrow. You know, there’s a line in an Anne Rice book that describes a character as walking like someone who had once been cherished. If I ever did walk that walk, it’s because of my Granddaddy Hewell.

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It’s just been brought to my attention that story #41 ran into technical difficulties and didn’t go out to subscribers.

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Nancy and I are honored to be included in a book of irrepressible artists who create despite their handicaps. Anne Copeland and Barbara Williamson have put together a beautiful book of beautiful art, and they’ve launched a kickstarter campaign to raise funds to get the first run of books printed. Click here to be whisked to the kickstarter page and have a look. Support them as you can and will – financially, by helping spread the word, or both. Any way you can support these two women who have spilled an awful lot of goodness into the world, will be hugely appreciated.

~~~~~~~

IOOL4 13a

In Our Own Language 4:13

Nancy (my developmentally disabled sister-in-law) draws.
I (the woman who flat-out loves her) stitch.

~~~~~~~

DailyDahlia091415

The Daily Dahlia
(This one is home grown!)

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44: Student Teaching . . . Literally

Ourearthworkbook

We started changing classes in fifth grade, and maybe that made the science teacher think we were too old for experiments and switch us over to a menu of lectures and tests. Whatever the reason, I found it dry, boring, and with every word she uttered, I saw dust flying out of her mouth. So I did what any fifth-grade girl would do: I volunteered to take over the teaching responsibilities.

Using my science book as an outline, I’d go home every day after school and turn our kitchen into my science lab, concocting all sorts of hands-on experiments. Because I couldn’t bribe the teacher to loan me her teacher’s book and it being before the internet and all, I had to conjure up my own experiments. And let me tell you what: there would be no banal and commonplace volcanoes exploding during my reign tenure.

One of my finest, if I do say so myself, demonstration was illustrating how mountains are formed. Here’s what I did, in case you want to try it yourself at home: I mixed up a batch of orange jello and poured a little bit in the bottom of a glass bread pan then put it in the fridge to set up. Next I mixed up some lime Jello, poured a little bit over the congealed orange Jello, and put it in the fridge to set up. Then I mixed up some grape Jello (my favorite, next to Cherry and Watermelon), poured a little over the top of the lime Jello, and set the glass bread pan in the fridge to set up. While it was in the refrigerator, I went out to the barn and found a board, a saw, and my daddy to operate the saw cutting the board down to a size that would fit in the end of the glass bread pan. Obviously I’d already studied about how mountains are formed, so I made notes containing the highlights of what I wanted to say then loaded up some wax paper, paper towels, my notes, and the board in my briefcase green overnight bag.

The next morning, I retrieved the glass bread pan from the fridge, set it inside my bag, and headed out to school. During science glass (which was fortunately second period because the lunchroom women didn’t have room in the fridge for my science experiments), I gave a little talk about mountains, then pushed that board in one end of the glass bread pan and started pushing it towards the other end, causing the layers of jello to rise and ripple just like mountains do.

Turns out I should’ve brought the entire box of wax paper and two entire rolls of paper towels.

Once I built up a little confidence in my teaching abilities, I created (with a little lot of help from Daddy again) a multi-media extravaganza light-up board. Just the thought of that thing brings tears to my eyes. Those wires covered in red and green. those words and photos cut from magazines, that piece of paneling I sanded and stained, the hinge Daddy and I developed so the board would stand alone, those adorable little tiny light bulbs I took from every flashlight I could find. It was one of my finest, that’s for sure.

Another time on the eve of the earth chapter, I was walking through Alford’s when I spied a workbook that covered just about everything I wanted to cover in that segment. So the next day, after showing the class my copy of the workbook, I proposed that everybody bring in 59-cents for me to buy additional copies for them. They did, I did, and I don’t know about my classmates-turned-students, but I loved that workbook with all it’s color illustrations and fill-in-the-blank questions like you wouldn’t believe.

You’re probably wondering what final grade I got in science that year. Well, here you go:

ReportCardGrade5

Personally, I think I deserved an A+ – maybe even an A+++ – but, alas, grading and doing report cards didn’t fall under my student teaching responsibilities.

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Dear Reader,
Please excuse Jeanne for being a day late with story #44. She was so tired yesterday, that she laid down for a nap at 4:15 p.m. and didn’t wake up till 10:30 this morning.
Signed,
Jeanne Herself

43: The House That Jeanne Built

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In another lifetime when the children were about 5 and 6 years old, we bought the shell of a house and set about finishing it. It was bigger than we needed – 4 floors, if you count the basement – so, being the girl I am, I created a schedule, giving each contractor an entire floor to work on then rotating them through the other floors. That schedule was a beautiful thing to behold, if I do say so myself. Framable.

But sometimes on paper is the only place things look good.

Things rolled along nicely for the first two or three weeks, then one morning the finishing carpenters, who were slated to come in and finish the crown molding on the first floor, didn’t show up. I started calling. No answer. No voicemail. No calls from them to explain. By the thirteenth day, I was beyond frustrated, but not knowing what else to do, I let my fingers do some more walking on the telephone, and this time somebody picked up. “Hello?” a female voice said.

“Hello. This is Jeanne Hewell-Chambers. Is Jim available?”

“No, he isn’t. This is his mother. Can I take a message?” she asked, and with that, the dam broke. Tears flowed as I told her between sobs that I’d been waiting on Jim for two weeks. He’d promised he’d be here in two weeks and figured he’d need about two weeks to get finished, and I hadn’t heard from him since. Now my schedule was getting all messed up because it was about time for the carpet and hardwood floor people to come in, but they couldn’t possibly lay down flooring with Jim and his crew working on scaffolding to finish the crown molding.

“When do you want him there?” she asked.

“Tomorrow morning would be fine,” I told her. “I get here at 7 to get ready for everybody.”

“Jim will be there at 7,” she assured me. But he wasn’t – he was there at quarter till 7, and he showed up every morning and worked till quitting time until that beautiful crown molding was in. Took him about five days.

From then on, I never waited more than 30 minutes on anybody. After half an hour, I’d start calling and when somebody answered, I led with “Hello. My name is Jeanne Hewell-Chambers, and I’m calling for Bob’s wife or mother.”

~~~~~~~

Finally it was time for the carpet to be laid, something I’d saved it till last for obvious reasons. I’d been rear-ended while stopped at a traffic light, and the soreness just wouldn’t seem to go away.

The morning the carpet layers were to come, I got to the house early and soreness or no, moved everything (paint, boards, boxes of nails, 5-gallon buckets, ladders, and such) into the garage so they could cut the carpet in the great room where it would stay dry if the predicted rain did come. I was tired but pleased when they showed up an hour late. The man in charge of the crew walked behind me as I showed him around and told him about my plan and how I’d moved everything into the garage in case it rained.

He spat his toothpick out onto the ground, glared at me, and said, “We will not cut the carpet in this room, we will cut it in the garage. Now we’re going to breakfast, and if you don’t have the garage cleaned out when we get back, we’re going home and you can call us when you’re ready for us to come back down.” And they turned to leave.

“What?” I asked. “Wait. I thought I was doing something good for y’all – saving you the time and effort to clear a place to work. A dry place where neither the carpet or y’all will get wet.”

“I’ve told you what to do,” he said, “if I was you, I’d get to work. We eat fast.”

That, my friends, was the camel that broke my last straw.

I called The Engineer, who was at his office an hour away, and told him what had just happened. I also told him that I was leaving, that I wouldn’t be here when these fellas got back, that I’d had it. I’d absolutely had it. I was tired of having workers from other houses in the neighborhood stopping by to tell me how my people were doing it all wrong, I was tired of having to fetch these men drinks and food. I was tired of having to wait on people and call their wives and mothers to get them to do what they were hired to do. I was tired of having them pressure me to pay them at noon on Friday, something I wouldn’t do because I’d already learned that if I paid them early on Friday, I didn’t see them again till Monday afternoon or Tuesday morning when they’d sobered up. I was leaving. I didn’t care if this house never got finished. I was leaving, and I didn’t know when I’d be back. “Stick a fork in me,” I told him, “cause I’m done.”

And being as good as my word, I left.

I stayed gone about an hour – just long enough to stop crying – then I headed back to the house. There on the top step, sat The Engineer and the carpet laying foreman, laughing it up like they were old buddies while the worker bees were inside, cutting carpet . . . in the room I’d cleared for them that very morning.

It took them about four days to finish laying the carpet, and the carpet man said not another word to me the entire time. Nothing at all. They arrived in the morning and walked straight past me without so much as a nod in my direction. They left for lunch without a word, returned from lunch without a word, left at the end of the day without a word. The only time the man spoke to me again was when they’d completed the job. He handed me the bill and told me who to make the check out to. I wrote the check – entered the payee’s name, the date, the amount. I even wrote our new address on the memo line. I filled out everything on that check, but I didn’t sign it. Without uttering a sound, I handed him the check and turned to leave.

“Wait a minute,” carpet man said brusquely, shoving the check back at me. “You need to sign this check.”

“Oh, do I now?” I said coolly. “I tell you what. I’ll sign that check for you when you apologize to me.”

“Apologize for what?” I swear, he seemed genuinely surprised.

“For the way you talked to me when you first got here and for the way you’ve behaved every day since. Let me ask you something: who hired you?” I asked him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, who is the one who initiated contact with you, interviewed you, called you back to say you had the job? Who is the one who was here waiting for you the day you were supposed to show up an hour and half earlier than you did? Who is the one who’s been here every day when you arrived, having the house open and ready for you to get right to work?”

“Y’all did.”

“Oh no, no, no,” I cut him off. “You think about that again. There’s no ‘y’all’ that comes into play here. Think about it and answer my question.”

Finally, with his hands on his hips, he said reluctantly, “You did.”

“Damn right,” I said. “It was me. I found you. I hired you, I’ve been here every day when y’all got here. I’ve been here to lock up after you left. I’m the one who cleared the room you’re working from to keep you and my beautiful carpet dry. I am also the one you talked so ugly to, the one you treated so badly. When I got back that day, you were looking my husband in the eye and smiling and talking and carrying-on like y’all were best friends. My husband didn’t hire you, and not only is he not here to sign your check, he’s not going to come to sign your check. I am going to sign your check, but not until I get an apology from you.”

I stood there, prepared to wait till hell froze over.

“But my wife has brain cancer,” he blurted out.

“I’m so sorry to hear that. How long has she had it?”

“About nine months.”

“And when did I first call you? Never mind. I’ll tell you: I called you two and a half months ago. She had brain cancer then, and you were downright friendly to me – at least compared to the way you’ve behaved on the job – cause you were trying to get this job. Since then, you’ve behaved very badly. And while I’m sorry about your wife, I’m appalled you would use her as an excuse for your unacceptable behavior.”

After several minutes, he apologized . . . to his toes.

“Not good enough,” I said. “You have to look at me – look me in the eyes – and you better sound convincing cause my ink pen stays in my pocketbook till you do.”

Eventually it became clear that while I might hear the words, I’d have to forego the sincere delivery if I wanted to sleep in my own bed that night, so I signed the check.

I’ve not had carpet in a house since.

42: I’m alive, so why not live? (This is not a question, actually.)

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The Daily Dahlia for 9/11/15

Though I don’t agree with all that was done in the wake of the horrible events that happened 14 years ago today – the laws, the policies, the rhetoric – I do consider the events of 9/11 and the aftermath another Declaration of Independence, of sorts. All the talk of not fearing continues to baffle me. Of course I fear. I don’t let it consume me, but I still fear – how could I not? That day that lives in infamy is more of a Re-Independence Day for me personally, a day when I re-declare life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. When I re-commit to gratitude. When I re-avow to live until I die.

Some say they watch certain news channels so they can refute what others say, and I imagine myself asking them why they feel the need to refute anything. Everybody can watch and believe what they choose. Period. Your news channel – any news channel, for that matter – might make me come-up-off-the-seat-crazy, but I’ll never even suggest that you turn the knob. I wonder what makes the would-be refuters so sure that the news they watch is truer and more accurate than any other news coming through the sound waves. What makes them right and everybody else wrong?

They say get right with the Lord or dance on a bed of hot coals for all eternity, and I wonder why they can’t live the best life they know how to live in accordance with their own belief system and leave me be to live my best life with my belief system. Why isn’t it enough to do no harm, to behave responsibly and compassionately, to live a full, rich spiritual life without infringing on the right of others to do the same?

Some declare publicly “This is my candidate, and if you don’t like it and dare say anything against her, I’ll unfriend you and never speak to you again.” And I scratch my head and wonder why they are the only ones with freedom of speech.

It does make me appreciate even more my friends and family who . . .
~ have deeply held religious beliefs and never pull the arrogant card, trying to force their beliefs on me
~ have differing political preferences and opinions and aren’t belligerent about them
~ love me deeply enough, are mature enough, are comfortable in their own skin enough to talk about these differences with an open mind, listening and asking questions and remaining open instead of arguing and slamming and storming off.

I’ve long harbored a secret notion that if folks who differ in their beliefs and opinions would talk openly and honestly with more patience, curiosity and openness than arrogance, anger and argument – if we could sit with the intent of conversing instead of converting – we’d find that we actually agree on more than we disagree over. That’s something that’s surely proven true with a cousin I especially love, admire, and respect more than I can quantify. Oh, the conversations we have. They prove my secret notion possible, charge my batteries, feed my soul. We ask questions of each other, listen deeply and patiently to the answers, and frequently find that we’re talking about the same thing, just using different words. Yes, all too often, it’s the words we use that prove the hurdle, and the mindset we keep that proves the key.

It’s a rare thing that I wish would become commonplace, conversations like this. Can you just imagine what a different world we’d live in if people put their energy into living the best life they know how to live and supporting and encouraging others as they do the same?

I don’t usually go public with my beliefs and opinions – that’s not my thing – but sometimes I would like to have my say just because I think it’s important – not the content of what I’d say but the act of saying of it. A lot of people have died making sure we all – and that includes me – have that important right and enjoy that freedom, and what better way to show appreciation than to speak up instead of just listening up?

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Okay, soapbox is going back under the bed now.
You’re welcome.

41: these things on top of my arms

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these shoulders have worn . . .

a diaper to catch baby’s spitup
pads to reshape my figure,
a beautiful hand-dyed silk jacket
that kept sliding off.

they’ve cradled grieving friends
and proved a basin for their tears.

they’ve worn honor cords
and hand-knit shawls.

they’ve been a crutch
for those needing a little assistance
and a collection plate
for stress
both home grown
and adopted.

they’ve carried pocketbooks
and totebags
diaper bags
and computer bags.

they’ve stood straight enough
to behave responsibly
and broad enough
to be a good caregiver.

i stand on the shoulders
of so many
of so so many.
women and men,
sometimes even children
who lend their shoulders
to raise me up,
to new perspectives,
teaching me important things
making me a better person.

and i hope to reciprocate by
standing tall
by straightening and strengthening
my own shoulders,
readying them.
by living in such a way
that others will
be changed for the better
when they land on mine.
it seems the least i can do
and the greatest i can do.

~~~~~~~

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the daily dahlia.
this is today’s.
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40: When I Miss Him Most

JeanneAndDaddy001

I am scared of thunderstorms.
Not just scared
terrified.

And when I became a mother,
I took a lot of deep breaths
and used every ounce of
self control I could muster
discipline I didn’t know I had
love I knew was big but not that big
to not let my children see my fear
so they wouldn’t inherit it.

It’s when I miss him most,
you know.
My daddy.
When thunder shakes the house
and lightning leaves us in the dark
and rain comes in a deluge that finds Noah
backing his ark out of the garage.

If he was home when a storm came up,
Daddy would just appear at my door
without saying a word about the storm.
He was just in the neighborhood, you know.

If he was away,
he’d call.
Just to talk.
“You okay, hon?” he’d ask
then settle into a conversation
about this and that.
He just happened to be thinking about me,
you know.

I’m lying.

It’s not when I miss him most.
It’s one of the times I miss him most.

JeanneDaddy50thAnn

~~~~~~~

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39: Leisure Time, my Foot

DishwasherAd

I remember when my mother and her brothers and sister gave my grandmother an automatic dishwasher for Mother’s Day. They were so pleased with themselves, sure that she would be delighted with the time saver, secretly thrilled at the thought they’d never have to wash another dish after a meal at her house. It was on wheels, this shiny new dishwasher, which is what my grandmother liked best about it: she could roll it right into the corner and use it for much-needed extra storage.

38: A Rather Odd Family Tradition

FCBlueDevilsFFront

We were walking from school to cheerleading practice.

Little League.

Blue Devils.

We wore the prettiest shade of blue corduroy circle skirts lined in white sheets and blue bloomers out of a different shade of blue fabric because we couldn’t match the blue of the corduroy. Our feet were clad in fold-down bobby socks and saddle oxfords, of course, and white pull-over v-neck sweaters over white short-sleeved blouses with Peter Pan collars topped off the outfit. In what I thought was a fairly brilliant idea, we attached this “F” onto the front of the sweater with snaps to make laundering the sweater easier (sewn-on letters that went through the washer and dry just never came out looking quite the same again). For our pom-poms, we bought blue and white crepe paper from Wayne’s Five and Ten, cut it into strips, folded it in half, and put a rubber band around the fold. When the blue faded on our hands and threatened our white sweaters and white short sleeved blouses with the Peter Pan collars, I brought some plastic covers from the dry cleaners, and we cut it up and covered the handle/fold to stop that.

We practiced at the log cabin (VFW) in town, and Mrs. Massey (her husband was a coach) and Mrs. Jones were our sponsors, which is to say, they taught us everything we know about enthusiastically cheering for the boys on the field. Those women may have been old in their twenties, but they could still leap and arch their backs and throw those hands in the air like any magazine advertisement you ever saw.

Mrs. Massey’s daughter, Robin, had hearing difficulties and wore a hearing aid device with the control hanging like a necklace on a cord around her neck. When her mother would get mad and scold Robin (which was kinda’ often cause Robin was, well, let’s go with “spirited”), the adorable little girl would stop dead in her tracks, look her mother square in the eye, pick up the pendant that controlled the hearing aids, and with great fanfare, turn her ears off. Robin always had the last word.

“Push ’em back, push ’em back, wwaaaaaayyyyy back,” we’d yell, choreographing our motions and clapping and hopeful bouncing.

My cousin, Elender, made up a cheer for us, and our sponsors were so delighted with her initiative and creativity, they let her teach it to us and we used it at least once during every game from then on.

Fe fi fo fum
I smell the blood
of a [insert team name of opponent] one.
Be he alive
or be he dead
We’re gonna’ win
just like we said.

My mother’s side was never known for their creative way with words. Poetry runs deep in my family.

One afternoon Mrs. A was stopped waiting to turn left from Hwy. 85 onto Stonewall, her daughter T babbling away in the passenger’s seat. We’ll never know what caused Mrs. A to turn her blinker off and decide to go straight instead of making that left turn, but whatever the reason, the result was catastrophic because my fourth grade sister, Jan – seeing that Mrs. A had her blinker on to turn left – had already started crossing the street. When she changed her mind, turning her blinker off and hitting the gas to go forward, Mrs. A ran right into and over Jan.

Before you ask, there was no traffic light there. Shoot, there were only two lights in the entire town – maybe the entire county – at that time. There was no crossing guard and no need for one. No loud speaker chirped or croaked when it was okay to cross the road. We looked both ways and had the good sense to know when nobody was coming.

Fayetteville also had no ambulance service, but we had a shiny new funeral home complete with a shiny white hearse, and here it came with C. J. behind the wheel, stopping in the middle of the intersection, then pulling forward and backing up a few times to get himself in a better position to put Jan on the stretcher and load her into the back.

Now when Mrs. A’s bumper met Jan’s fourth grade sized body, I was in the dentist office at the end of the block up on the second floor, getting my regular braces tune-up. Greg E. came barreling up those steep stairs, throwing open the door to Dr. Waters’ office, and with his hands on his knees to help him catch his breath, rasped out “Come. Quick. There’s. Been. An accident. Jan’s. Been. Hit. By a car.”

I raced past him, running the 57 steps to the intersection to see Jan laying on the pavement, and that’s when my knees turned into jello that hasn’t quite set up yet, leaving me with no choice but to lay myself down on the tailgate of McElroy’s Furniture Store delivery truck. From that vantage point, I turned my head to the side to watch C. J. come speeding over in his hearse and a few minutes later, Mother come running over from the nearby Board of Education office. Her tight skirt and spiked heels of that particular fashion era didn’t slow her down one little bit.

The hearse left, the crowd disbursed, and I got somebody to take me out to Grandmother and Granddaddy’s house. They hadn’t been told, of course, so I told them everything I knew, then called Daddy to fill him in, instructing him to come pick me up so we could go to the hospital together. Fortunately, he was good at following directions.

Well, he did as he was told that day, anyway.

The waiting room at the hospital was fairly full, but not everybody could come cause somebody had to stay home to tend to homework and supper, so I made a list of people who needed to know as well as the names of those who’d come over to cock their head and look down at me while I laid on the tailgate, telling me to be sure to keep them updated. With a roll of quarters in hand, I set up at the pay phone in the waiting room and worked the phone, establishing a phone tree to take some of the pressure off me and keep a smile on the face of Those Who Like To Know Bad Things First.

Right away, Jan had surgery to remove her spleen, then they set about setting her broken bones. She was in the hospital for a good while, and when she came home in her full body cast, it was with the understanding that the medical folk weren’t at all sure she’d walk again.

Her cast – and these were in the days when casts were casts – plaster. Heavy. Immovable. Showed dirt easily. Well, both Jan’s legs were in this cast that came up just above her waist. Mother used the bar that had been conveniently located between the two legs of the cast to help her move Jan around as needed.

Jan got a lot of loot, let me tell you, because these kinds of spectacular things just didn’t happen in Fayetteville she was so well loved. One time The Jeanne I Wish I Wasn’t confided to Helen Graves how I was getting sick and tired of Jan getting so many cards, flowers, and gifts – GREAT gifts, mind you – and Helen came back the next day with a little something for me: a dickey (not the coveralls but the turtleneck with a bib down the front and back) that was burgundy on one side and a green-yellow-white-blue-and-burgundy print on the other. The only thing that could make me love that dickey more is if I knew that her son Jimmy coveted it.

Eventually the cast came off, and Jan was transferred to a wheelchair . . . which is harder than you might imagine to push around on a dirt driveway when you’re playing basketball, so I just decided to park Jan and her chariot to one side and let her watch. Having grown quite accustomed to being the Little Sweetheart at the center of Everybody’s Attention To make herself useful, she pushed herself out of that wheelchair when the ball bounced her way, and she walked from that moment on.

Fast forward seven years . . .

I am a sophomore in college, engaged to The Engineer who’s finishing up at Georgia Tech. It’s Friday of a busy weekend. The Engineer has finals and has contracted with me to type his papers up and have them ready to turn in on Monday. He is also to be in the wedding of his best friend from high school, and the rehearsal dinner is that night with the wedding following on Saturday afternoon. My family is out of town, camping in the new Winnebago, leaving Grandmother and Granddaddy to move into our house so that I am chaperoned appropriately.

I work as an administrative assistant to the administrator of Doctors Memorial Hospital in Atlanta, and as I leave work that fateful Friday afternoon and start across Linden Avenue headed to the parking lot where my chariot awaits, a car that had been parked along the curb pulls out quickly and guns it – you guessed it – causing him to run into and over me.

You’ve seen those cartoons where some character is on the ground looking up at the faces that surround her? Well, this time that character was me. I recognized the hospital’s security guard, so I grabbed Tom’s tie, pulled him down further than he thought he could bend, and said, “There’s a gurney in the front hall next to so-and-so’s office. Go fetch it and bring it out here. Get Hazel (in her office, third one on the left) and John (across the hall from Hazel) to come back and help you get me on it.”

Off he went, leaving me there to entertain the onlookers. Eventually he was back, seemingly surprised that the gurney and the people I requested had been right where I said they’d be. Doctors Memorial didn’t have an emergency room, so I kinda’ had to direct things. “Pull the gurney up alongside me,” I told Tom, “and mash that lever right there to lower it down as close as possible. Now, Hazel, I want you to take my left shoulder, John you take my right shoulder, and Tom, I want you to get my feet, and on the count of three – when I SAY ‘3’ – y’all lift me up as gently as you can and lay me down on the gurney. One, two, three.”

Then I had them roll me back into the hospital and bring me a phone so I could call The Engineer, Grandmother and Granddaddy, and an orthopedic doctor cause though I didn’t know specifically what, I knew I’d broken something. Turns out it was my left knee, and I had a full-leg plaster cast to call my own. Dr. S. Bethea later tried to hire me away from the hospital, but based on what he offered, I didn’t think he appreciated my skill sets nearly enough for me to make the change. I mean, shoot, if it’d been up to the Doctors Memorial security guard, I’d still be laying in the middle of Linden Avenue, blocking traffic.

Mother, Daddy, and The Engineer made up a taxi schedule, getting me to and from work. When The Engineer and I went on dates, I rode in the backseat where I could stretch my casted leg out on the seat, and we held hands over the back of the front seat, leaving him to steer with his left hand. Once we went to a place that offered valet parking, and you should’ve seen the look on the parking attendant’s face as he tried to figure out which door(s) to open. Fortunately for him, I had it all figured out by then and could direct.

When I went in for my fifth week checkup, The Ortho took an x-ray and said he didn’t think my leg was ready to come out of the cast. I grabbed him by the tie, pulled him down to my eye level, and said, “Go get your saw ’cause I’m getting married next weekend, and I’m not wearing this plaster cast under my pouffy white dress or on my honeymoon. Now scoot.”

He did, and I didn’t, and well, I’ll tell you more about that another time.

Oh, and the worst thing about when I got hit by the car (depending on who you ask)? I was wearing Jan’s dress, and when the car pushed me along Linden Avenue, the asphalt rubbed a hole in the upper back shoulder area. She was not happy, even after the dry cleaners did what I thought was a decent job of mending.

~~~~~~~

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