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i hate sunday nights. i love sunday nights.

sunday nights are a transition time for me. the end of the pause. the threshold of beginning.

i am ready for my husband to go back to work. i want him to call in sick tomorrow.

i want to watch another movie. i am ready to get up and move.

i do not want go to back to a life of to do lists. i long for the structure of plans and productivity.

i am a different person. i am the same person trying to be different.

i want to spill things onto the page. i don’t have a damn thing to say.

i love the way i’m beginning to drop down into some philosophical, reflective writing (except for yesterday – that piece was pretty blah). i am tired of being serious, longing to cut loose and romp.

i want to change my update on facebook. i want to drop facebook altogether.

i want to finish my collage. i want to rip up the ripped out bits and flush them.

i want to sing and dance. i want to go to bed and sleep in the fetal position.

i want to twitter. i want to tuck in.

i want to get something done tonight so i’ll be ahead of the game tomorrow. i don’t even want to think about doing anything tonight.

i want to find a book on the writing of lost. if i never see another book, it’ll be too soon.

etc.

etc.

etc.

~~~

Technorati Tags:
#mindfullist

38 Comments

  1. Lindsey

    I love this – I feel I hold contradictions in my hand every day, a different bouquet depending on the day and time.
    I’m glad to read yours, so eloquently stated.

    • whollyjeanne

      “a different bouquet” . . . thanks for that little shift from angst to aaahhhhh. (or maybe aha)

  2. Lindsey

    I love this – I feel I hold contradictions in my hand every day, a different bouquet depending on the day and time.
    I’m glad to read yours, so eloquently stated.

    • whollyjeanne

      “a different bouquet” . . . thanks for that little shift from angst to aaahhhhh. (or maybe aha)

  3. Dian Reid

    nice. i love that you can allow yourself to be all of this at once…it’s the resistance that tries to kill us!!

    • whollyjeanne

      it is the resistance that fries us, isn’t it dian? thanks for the reminder of that very important point.

  4. Dian Reid

    nice. i love that you can allow yourself to be all of this at once…it’s the resistance that tries to kill us!!

    • whollyjeanne

      it is the resistance that fries us, isn’t it dian? thanks for the reminder of that very important point.

  5. Acey

    this one left me that sense we have come to feel with each other – that looking in the mirror sense. Jim went back to work today after a two week furlough. Left to my own devices I find that I am All Of This and as untested as the deepest ocean …

    • whollyjeanne

      well, acey, i hope you took today to transition into the rest of the week. sometimes, it’s just what you have to do.

  6. Acey

    this one left me that sense we have come to feel with each other – that looking in the mirror sense. Jim went back to work today after a two week furlough. Left to my own devices I find that I am All Of This and as untested as the deepest ocean …

    • whollyjeanne

      well, acey, i hope you took today to transition into the rest of the week. sometimes, it’s just what you have to do.

  7. Life with Kaishon

    Wow. You are an excellent writer. Someone else just told me they don’t like Sundays at all because they know Monday is coming. That made me sort of sad. I mean, it is a WHOLE day! We need to celebrate each moment because they are all quickly slipping away! : )

    • whollyjeanne

      well, thank you kaishon. you are so sweet. i try to celebrate each moment – even if the reason for celebration is to give context to things that are at-first-glance worth celebrating.

  8. Life with Kaishon

    Wow. You are an excellent writer. Someone else just told me they don’t like Sundays at all because they know Monday is coming. That made me sort of sad. I mean, it is a WHOLE day! We need to celebrate each moment because they are all quickly slipping away! : )

    • whollyjeanne

      well, thank you kaishon. you are so sweet. i try to celebrate each moment – even if the reason for celebration is to give context to things that are at-first-glance worth celebrating.

  9. mynde

    beautiful. it describes many of my own moments. it’s the place where feelings sometimes lie to me. but i don’t find that out till i do ‘the thing’ anyway.

    • whollyjeanne

      “the place where feelings sometimes lie to me.” yes. that’s the place i’m talking about.

  10. mynde

    beautiful. it describes many of my own moments. it’s the place where feelings sometimes lie to me. but i don’t find that out till i do ‘the thing’ anyway.

    • whollyjeanne

      “the place where feelings sometimes lie to me.” yes. that’s the place i’m talking about.

  11. Kristen @ Motherese

    As a student and then a teacher, I always thought of August as a month of Sundays. In this post, you perfectly capture that feeling of the Sunday, itself perhaps just a metaphor for human nature in general: fleeting moments of contentment followed by looking ahead, looking back, looking for more.

    • whollyjeanne

      i was a teacher, too, so i totally relate to august = month of sundays. a hurrry-up/no stop month. just went to your blog, by the way – beautiful writing there. a girl could love wandering there among your soft, eloquent thoughts.

  12. Kristen @ Motherese

    As a student and then a teacher, I always thought of August as a month of Sundays. In this post, you perfectly capture that feeling of the Sunday, itself perhaps just a metaphor for human nature in general: fleeting moments of contentment followed by looking ahead, looking back, looking for more.

    • whollyjeanne

      i was a teacher, too, so i totally relate to august = month of sundays. a hurrry-up/no stop month. just went to your blog, by the way – beautiful writing there. a girl could love wandering there among your soft, eloquent thoughts.

  13. emma

    How did you get in my head?

    • whollyjeanne

      same way you got into my heart.

  14. emma

    How did you get in my head?

    • whollyjeanne

      same way you got into my heart.

  15. TheWordWire

    Were you reading my mind when you wrote this or something? This feels waaaaaay familiar.

    • whollyjeanne

      so you’re saying we might’ve been separated at birth, sugar?

  16. TheWordWire

    Were you reading my mind when you wrote this or something? This feels waaaaaay familiar.

    • whollyjeanne

      so you’re saying we might’ve been separated at birth, sugar?

  17. Alana

    Okay I know it’s been said but I’m tagging along – I know this, I feel this and this wowed me. Thanks for putting into words what I felt for YEARS. Only reason I don’t now is my days are a blur of toddler.

    • whollyjeanne

      i remember those days, and to feel anything other than exhaustion was an impossibility. there just wasn’t clock time or brain capacity. any more thoughts on the educational path you’ll take?

  18. Alana

    Okay I know it’s been said but I’m tagging along – I know this, I feel this and this wowed me. Thanks for putting into words what I felt for YEARS. Only reason I don’t now is my days are a blur of toddler.

    • whollyjeanne

      i remember those days, and to feel anything other than exhaustion was an impossibility. there just wasn’t clock time or brain capacity. any more thoughts on the educational path you’ll take?

  19. sheila

    I love this piece! I’m not a fan of transitions but I’m learning to embrace contradictions.
    Enjoyed reading through several posts 🙂

  20. sheila

    I love this piece! I’m not a fan of transitions but I’m learning to embrace contradictions.
    Enjoyed reading through several posts 🙂

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