+ Her Barefoot Heart

Category: stitchings (Page 23 of 37)

73

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Back on the red dirt of Georgia
tonight.
Much water has gone under the bridge
in the past week,
things swirling
and twirling inside me.
Pondering and processing
will have to wait
till I’m reacquainted with
a little something we like to call
rest.

73a

And yet,
exhausted as I am,
I am struck with the
fragile threads of life
that connect us
and disconnect us.
Threads tangling and untangling,
twisting and crossing,
meandering and curving.
Threads dangling and raveling,
turning and stopping,
ending and beginning.

73jack

Lines and threads
that link us,
that connect us,
that bind us.

~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning and read your way current.
And there’s a pinterest board, too.

72

Tonight’s serendipitous Envoy is none other than Emily Lewis of Pleasure Notes. Andy and I are spending tonight in a Los Angeles hotel, you see, about 3 blocks from LAX where we’ll hop into a big chair in the sky in the morning to wing our way home. Emily, who lives here in LA, was kind enough to brave the ever-present LA traffic and come join us for supper. Dessert was when she agreed to hold Nancy’s stitched drawing #72. It was quite moving to watch Emily take the cloth in her hands and gaze at Nancy’s drawing. She held is so tenderly and with such respect. “Oh, look,” she said when I handed it to her. “This is so beautiful.” I told her how this afternoon I started filling in the large space at the bottom. I just needed to fiddle with something, I told her, but then I ripped it all out cause it doesn’t seem to need anything else. Emily agreed. It’s enough just as it is, she said. Now I know she was talking about Nancy’s drawing, but I declare: I thought of her when she said it.

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72a

~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning and read your way current.
And there’s a pinterest board, too.

71

First she draws:

4 71 1 erased

Then I stitch:

71a

71c

Visited Aunt Ginny again today. The long, hard drive was made enjoyable by Ro and Bob, new friends of ours, old friends of Aunt Ginny’s. We just met them yesterday but feel like we’ve known each other for eons. Photo taken on some contraption at the Maturango Museum in Ridgecrest, CA.

~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning and read your way current.
And there’s a pinterest board, too.

70

Another sunset in High Desert Country:

70sunset4

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When a person first moves to a personal care home, nursing home, assisted living home, it’s inevitable that they will plead with visitors to take them home, and it’s quite understandable that visitors begin to find other ways to spend their time to avoid putting themselves through the agony of not being able to quell the angst and agitation. Me, I grow much more concerned when they stop imploring visitors to take them home, their silence indicating a deep resignation and giving-up and/or further mental erosion. I am a Southerner – a rebel through and through. Maybe that’s why I want people to pitch an outright hissy fit when they don’t like something about their lives. Do not go silently into the night, I plead. Do not roll over and become complacent or compliant. Keep that white flag in your pocket till there’s just no other choice. Keep thinking for yourself. Keep knowing what you want. Keep kicking up a ruckus. I’ll have more to say about this when I’m more rested cause this is big for me. Big, I tell you. Many thanks to my brother-in-law Donn for sending this.

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70c

~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning and read your way current.
And there’s a pinterest board, too.

69

“Nobody ever writes me,” Aunt Ginny scolds immediately after the hugs. It’s a common, expected greeting, sometimes followed by more admonishing and borderline lecturing. Maybe to those who never raised a child to adulthood, to those who never had the opportunity, the experience to learn about wholeheartedly loving-in-spite-of, that’s what being a matriarch looks like: wagging a finger, pointing out faults, lecturing the children about on what they are doing wrong.

69c

A stitched rendition of Nancy’s drawing and Aunt Ginny’s handkerchief, both resting on an afghan crocheted by Virginia’s mother/Nancy’s grandmother. Three generations of women. In fiber.

~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning and read your way current.
And there’s a pinterest board, too.

68

We visited Aunt Ginny today. She and Nancy now share living situations, both barely mobile, both living in a house with 3-5 other women needing round-the-clock care. It is a 2.5 hour drive from Aunt Ginny’s home of how-ever-many decades to the personal care home where she now resides. The drive took us through landscapes that are as barren as they are beautiful. Countryside that seems willing to hold us all, in our quirkiness, in our infirmities, in our tomfooleries.

Highdesertcountry2

Highdesertcountry3

Highdesertcountry4

Highdessertcountry1

Aunt Ginny was quite chatty, mostly entertaining us with nonsensical stories, interrupting us whenever we tried to interject the shortest sentence. I asked her to tell us stories – and she did. They were fantastical stories, unusual stories, stories that were true only on certain planets. Some might feel the need to correct her when she is glaringly out of touch with reality, but I just say pfffft and join her in conversation wherever she is at any given moment. It’s better than any carnival ride, and if she could remember afterwards, I’m betting she’d feel quite validated.

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Auntginny1

Note: Posting across the street from a plane graveyard which is also the first official spaceport in the USA.

~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning and read your way current.
And there’s a pinterest board, too.

67

Greetings from the Burger King in Lancaster, CA where we stop for food on our way to visit Nancy’s Aunt Ginny in the personal care home where she now resides. Tomorrow we get to work selling her car, readying her house for sale. That kind of stuff.

Telling a woman that she will never drive or live independently in her own home again: hardness.

Or Heartness, maybe. Depends.

Times like this call for heart . . . a heart with a string, ready to pull and unravel all the hardness, all the chain mail that accumulates over the years in the name of safety and protection. I’m not sure it’s really safe, though. Not sure it really does protect. Time to inhale deeply, pull the string, and deal with what needs to be dealt with.

67 drawing

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We’re headed to Death Valley. Internet may be spotty at best over the next few days. I hope not, but it might.

~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning and read your way current.
And there’s a pinterest board, too.

66

She draws:

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I stitch:

66b

The good news: Using photo manipulation software is (eventually) like riding a bike. Last night I remembered how to take the background out on the drawings. The bad news: I kinda’ miss the composition book context – the look of Nancy drawing beyond the lines. The other good news: The speaker at tonight’s meeting of the Fayette Arts And Craft Entrepreneurs group was a photographer. The other bad news: I didn’t get home till after dark, too late to use any of the tips I learned tonight.

Delivered the first Envoy envelope tonight. Put it in the talented hands of my talented, fun, fearless, and hilarious friend Janet McGregor Dunn who once tried to teach me pottery. Who needs therapy when you get your hands in the mud with friends? Trot on over and have a look at her stunning pottery, then look her up on Facebook. I’ll be mailing/delivering other Envoy packets throughout the week ahead. Perhaps you’d like to let Nancy be a stowaway and become an Envoy? (Say yes.)

Tickled and grateful to be included alongside creative people filling the world with marvelous in the poetry of my talented friend Teresa Deak. Not only is Teresa a gifted poet and photographer, she’s just recently released a new set of tarot cards.

~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning and read your way current.
And there’s a pinterest board, too.

65

Nancy’s drawing:

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My stitching:

65a

65b

“For many years I have made paper and loved doing so. I enjoy the connection to its history, the knowing that for thousands of years something has been made so simply and yet has such an amazing impact on our world. Yet often I deny the medium, focusing only on the “art”, the “message”. As I began to make the paper for this exhibit, I became very aware of the process. The mediation and rhythm and the absolute beauty of the paper itself became of primary importance” – Lori Goodman

(This quote – that talks about making paper, but for me, easily transfers over to my stitchings on cloth – found on this beautiful, inspiring blog.)

~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning and read your way current.
And there’s a pinterest board, too.

64

First, she draws:
4 64 1

Then I stitch:

64

Here’s the week’s worth for week 9, the Sunday Seven. Not very inspired photography, I know, but it’s raining outside and I’m pooped.

Week9a

Came across this today. Seems to fit and feed right now.

“Pressures from the social structure enter into the whole process of wrestling the poem into being. The challenge is not to be intimidated by convention.

I have often said, “I want to perfect my craft so I won’t have to tell lies.” So often, when you’re stumped, the temptation is just to back down, but when you feel this is so complicated or so tenuous that there’s no way you can say it, you have to persuade yourself you can say it, that there is a way of saying it, that there’s nothing that is unsayable. And this gives you strength for the next time.

The poem, by its very nature, holds the possibility of revelation, and revelation doesn’t come easy. You have to fight for it. There is that moment when you suddenly open a door and enter into the room of the unspeakable. Then you know you’re really perking.”

Stanley Kunitz in The Wild Braid

~~~~~~~~~

She is my developmentally disabled sister-in-law, Nancy,
and I am Jeanne, the woman who flat-out loves her.
Go here to start at the beginning and read your way current.
And there’s a pinterest board, too.

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